Potty Training... a scary story

Everyone won't be able to handle this story... Read at your own risk.

Dads are lucky.
They get to be Dads.
They don't have to be Moms. Don't get me wrong, being a Mom is GREAT, it's just that sometimes it can be a dirty job.

Most Fathers I know need help changing a single poopy diaper. Their gag reflex flares up at the slightest glimpse (or smell) of soft poop or projectile vomiting. Sometimes they even expect you to feel sorry for them. They don't know how lucky they have it. Mom's don't get the luxury of "getting sick" when they have to change an explosive diaper or when they're being thrown up on.

I'm sure some of the Dad's reading this may feel like I'm painting a one-sided picture. So let me pause and say that this, of course, excludes those Stay-at-home and Single Dads. Also, I know today's Dads are much more hands on than the Dad's were 40, 30, even 10yrs ago. And that is very much appreciated. I mean my husband is what you would call "hands on"... But I'd be willing to bet that even most "hands on" Dads have no idea what it's like to be in the trenches taking grenades.

Like anyone else, Moms share stories with others who are in the same stage in life as they are, whatever that stage may be. For example Charlie just started school. Because of that I often share and listen to many stories about the good and bad that comes with my daughter being around a ton of other children (IE, friendships, fights, illness, and bad habits). Sierra is potty training. Similarly, I share and listen to stories about, you've got it, all the successes and non-successes that accompany it.

The following story is about Potty Training... and although I have clearance to share this story, names and genders will be withheld to protect the child's identity. After reading you'll understand why...

A while ago a fellow Mom was getting her older child ready for school when she was informed by her youngest that it was potty time. She placed her youngest on the potty seat in the bathroom, within earshot, and left the child there.

It should be noted that this was the first -and last- time the child had ever been left unsupervised on the potty seat. But Mom wasn't worried. The child was comfortable and as she continued getting the older kid ready she went in once or twice to check on her youngest. Mom could hear everything so she didn't feel any pressure to be in there watching. Instead she experienced one of those rare stress-free moments. But she was about to be in for a rude awakening.

When Mom realized that it had been a minute or two since she'd heard any tiny little grunts she grabbed a few baby wipes and went to check things out.

She was in no way prepared for the scene that awaited her.

I will take you through this scene exactly as it was told to me.

As Mom stood outside of the bathroom she sees Baby, standing up, looking down at the potty seat. Mom's eyes go to the potty seat. Poop is smeared all over it. Mom's eyes immediately dart to Baby's tiny little hand. It too is covered in poop. Mom screams Baby's name. Baby looks up at her... and Baby has poop on her mouth. Now I'm no mind reader but I can guarantee that this is every potty training Moms worst fear!!! Mom moves fast. She swoops Baby up, wipes Baby's hand with one baby wipe, drops it, wipes Baby's face with another, drops that one and turns on the sink with such speed that she said it seemed like it was all one movement... before she knows it Mom is drenching Baby w/ soap and water in the sink.

Fast forward 10minutes and everything, including the potty seat, is clean and Mom goes on to make breakfast for the kids. She even gets everyone to school on time...

In the words of the great Oprah Winfrey, here is what Mom knows for sure...
She knows that Baby had poop on his/her mouth.

She doesn't know that Baby had it in his/her mouth because a millisecond after said poop was spotted, Baby's mouth was filled with soap and water. But Mom's a smart lady and as much as she doesn't want to admit it, she knows chances are Baby ate a little poop. Which is why she also knows she will never again leave a child unattended on the Potty Seat.

So there you have it. There's a glimpse into what it's like to be a Mom on a not so good morning. Could Dad have handled that? I'm not so sure. From what I was told this particular Dad couldn't even handle hearing it over the phone.

Pictures of the Week- Okinawa Zoo

Recently the family took a trip to the Okinawa Zoo. It's a modest Zoo. There are no elaborate habitats. There aren't even that many animals to look at. But the animals that are there had great personality. How could I know that you ask?? Well at this zoo the only thing that separates you from most of the animals is a small chain link fence so you can get pretty close... Maybe even too close... All I know is I felt like the animals, especially the big ones, were doing us a favor by staying put. I think if they really wanted to they could tear that place apart...

Anyhow,
I present to you my "favorites" from the Okinawa Zoo. Be sure to click on the pictures to enlarge them.
Enjoy.


The Alligators and Crocodiles were the first animals we encountered. Their habitat is set up with 2 or 3 of the same type of Alligator/Crocodile in it's own makeshift swamp. There were probably 8-10 of these "swamps" which were separated from us and each other by a fence and or railing (which btw, I believe could be scaled by those things). I was a little nervous walking through here. I felt we were just too close for comfort. And this jerk in the photo below didn't help by opening it's mouth and hissing at my Charlie. Apparently this is what alligators do to warn you that you're getting too close before they kill you.


These turtles were interesting. They were all looking at the exact same spot. It seemed like they were standing at attention. And they didn't move at all the whole time we were watching them. It was like the National Anthem was playing or something. Anyway, I don't know what they were waiting for but whatever it was I hope they got it, and I hope it was good.


Next we checked out the Giraffes. I didn't mind being close to these animals. They were beautiful.


The elephants were okay. They seemed nice enough but I hear too many stories of elephants going on rampages so I couldn't exactly breath easily...

This poor guy had a hand print on his face. Maybe the person that put it there thought it would be cute or funny. I didn't laugh.


When we got to the Big Cats we were warmly greeted by this sign.

There was no writing in English but something told me that we were being warned that the Big Cats may have a habit of spraying pee (or something) into peoples faces. Luckily we stayed dry.

The Lion was tired as hell and didn't give us the time of day. But he did roll over on his back once as if he wanted one of us to come in and rub his belly. I couldn't do it cause I was holding the baby but maybe next time...


The Lioness looked like she was daring somebody to disturb her man. Something told me she didn't mess around and I liked her for that.


The Tiger was busy washing his face but he did make eye contact with me just long enough for me to snap his picture.



The Chimpanzee was next and yes, you are seeing this sign correctly... the Chimp is throwing poop.

I, being of sound mind, saw that sign and decided to heed the warning- this picture was taken with my super zoom feature from the Hippo habitat- but I didn't have much company. In fact, there was a huge crowd of people standing right in front of this fence. There was even a group of idiots up close antagonizing him as if they wanted to get poop thrown at them. Well they got their wish... Twice!

Meanwhile I was safe and sound by the hippos.

At least, I felt safe until I saw that gigantic tooth.

After I took this picture this Peacock and I stared at each other for the longest time. Although he seemed nice and there was no warning sign, I decided to back off before he spit at me, or worse.

I don't remember what type of cat this was but I thought it was beautiful and I couldn't stop looking at it.


This little guy looked like he was in prison. I guess he kind of is.


I disturbed this couple while they were eating bugs off of each other.


This was the coolest Baboon I've ever seen in my life... for 2 reasons.
#1.

His face was amazing! If I hadn't taken the picture myself I would swear that the colors had been digitally enhanced. I stared at him and thought I'd seen the best of it until...
...
#2

Is that not the most awesome Baboon's ass you've ever seen?!!! I thought all Baboon's asses were red, and gross. But this ass is cool... it's even, dare I say, pleasant to look at. That said, if you ever ask me how you look and I respond by saying you look like a Baboon's ass, please know that this is the ass I have in mind. If I say you look like this ass, it's not an insult. It actually means you are quite pleasing to the eye... Moving on...

*Update- Upon further investigation Marcus & I discovered this isn't a Baboon, it's a Mandrill. Baboons and Mandrills are in the same family but they aren't the same thing... If I say you look like a Baboon's ass I guess it would be an insult...

We checked out the Bat Exhibit and Charlie and Sierra took a break to ride the Carousel.






Charlie even took a page out of her Aunt Devon's playbook and rode a horse for the first time.






I looked a wreck ...



I'll leave you with this last photo. Marcus and I like to call these "Begging Fish".


On the way out you cross a pond and while you are on the bridge the fish actually bring their faces up out of the water and open their mouths to beg for food. They're very aggressive. It's the most bizarre thing I've ever seen.

So that was our day at the Zoo. Marcus and I had a good time and the girls loved it!!

If you ever come to visit and you want to see the Okinawa Zoo just say the word and we'll make it happen :)!

Photos of the Week- Charlie's Christmas Recital

This past Friday Charlie had her first ever Christmas Recital.

First let me say that kid's recitals aren't for everybody. And I can fully understand how many of you, particularly those who aren't parents, aren't really into the whole children's "recital" hoopla. I mean is listening to a bunch of little kids sing off key really all that exciting?

Well I can objectively tell you that YES!... YES it is!

This recital was the real deal. Complete with a dress code and everything. All of the children had to wear red, white, or black- or some combination of the three.

And in true "Mommy" fashion I decided to get in the spirit and dress me and Sierra in the same color scheme.

We looked fresh and fabulous.

Actually, upon closer inspection of this photo I realize the bags under my eyes really tell the tale- I'm EXHAUSTED!! Seriously- and this is off topic so please forgive me- I have NO idea how my mom used to do it all and manage to stay so fly!!

Charlie could barely contain her excitement and kept throwing her hands into the air. Sierra, as usual, did her own thing.

This is part of the 2 year old class.

A children's recital just isn't complete without a couple of meltdowns.

Obviously this little girl realized that she was the only oddball NOT adhering to the dress code. But, as they say, the show must go on and she recovered nicely. In fact once the children stood up and started singing she gave the best performance. She was loud, she knew all the words and all the dance moves- which if you ask me is most important cause you gotta have the moves! She was so great that I'm sure everyone forgave her fashion misstep, I know I did.

Way to shine kid!!

This is the other part of the 2 year old class. Unfortunately, this little guy never recovered from his meltdown.

I don't even know what upset him. I think he just got really nervous when his teacher asked him what he wanted for Christmas. All the kids were asked the same question and he was at the end of the row so he had to see it coming. But you never know what nerves will do to people. Some folks get sweaty palms. Some get the shits. This little guy dropped down into the fetal position and stayed there the entire performance. That's right, for 15 minutes those of us on the right side of the stage were treated to this...

Good times.

This is Charlie's class.

Again, you can say what you want about parents- like me- who put "extras" on things but Charlie did an awesome job! She wasn't nervous at all. Her class sang three songs and she was a rock star. She killed "Deck the Halls" and "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". She didn't really know the words to "Here We Come a-Caroling" but that's okay for 2 reasons.

#1 Whenever she wasn't singing she was dancing and I already stressed the importance of having the moves.

#2 Who the hell knows the words to Here We Come a-Caroling anyway? In fact if you're reading this and you know the words I'll give you a hundred bucks and if you're Black I'll give you two hundred!... well... no I won't... but I'll be impressed... or a little weirded out... either way I'd never even heard of the song until 2 weeks ago when she brought it home. But back to the recital.

Santa came out and gave the kids presents.

Plus they made crafts.

Charlie made her Santa look like PaPa :) and we loved it so much we hung it on our Christmas Tree.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, that IS a Black Santa.

The construction paper that was cut out for Santa's face was white, tan & brown. There were plenty of faces in all colors to go around and the kids sat and made their Santa however they saw fit.

Now you're probably saying to yourself, "That's pretty cool... I never would've thought of that...The person who came up with that idea is awesome." You're assuming that she's beautiful and talented... You'd like to know her.

Well luckily for you you do know her because I came up with the Santa craft and made all of the construction paper cut outs :).

Okay, enough games, back to the recital.

I love this last picture.

It was taken right at the end. Just before we left. My Charlie. Still excited. Hands in the air. Showing off her moves.

Good times indeed.