Ramblings about purpose, fear and REALLY living your life

I've always known that I was supposed to do something big with my life. Not necessarily something that would make me wealthy or well known, but something that would impact many people a major way. I just didn't know what that thing would be. In the meantime I've lived my life trying to be a good daughter, sister and friend. I've been supportive and loyal and I've given tons of advice... both solicited and, as my friends and family can attest, unsolicited :)...

Then I became pregnant with Charlie, my focus shifted, and I began to think that maybe I wasn't supposed to be the one to impact or even change the world... Instead, my role was possibly to raise the one's destined to have this great, positive impact on people's lives. So I threw everything I was into being the best mom I could be. Period.
Because seriously, raising the people who are going to "change the world" is a huge responsibility.

But the truth is, there is something that I am meant to do with my life, aside from being a great mom, and I found it! There were clues everywhere and this nagging voice that kept saying 'you should do this'. It took me a few years but I finally listened and once I did, wow, what came out was so awesome and exciting that I believed it had to be because I was finally walking in my annointing.

But even with all that there recently came a point where I was afraid that I was wrong. Even though I had done something that I knew was absolutely meant for me to do, even though it was work that I was proud of and I knew would be successful, there was this fear that presented itself and said 'What if... What if this is a waste of time? What if this isn't well received? What if you fail?'
Fear. A fear that almost stopped me in my tracks. Almost.

I came to realize that you have to live your life without being afraid of failure. That the people who are successful and who do the most good are those who take risks. That you must believe in yourself and know that there can really be no failure in going for the things that are in your heart and that you are passionate about. It's been about a month since the fear that almost stole my destiny has come and gone and I have been walking on air ever since.

I never planned on sharing this part of my journey with anyone. My plan was to just work hard and then dazzle you all with what I've been up to- which btw I still plan to do- But today my Uncle Frank died suddenly. He was young, had no health problems that anyone knew of, but while he was eating lunch his stomach started bothering him and he collapsed. My cousin CC who was home with him at the time called 911. By the time the paramedics arrived his heartrate was down to 20. They were able to get it to 80 before they loaded him into the ambulance but by the time they got him to the hospital he had lost consciousness and they never got him back. That fast, he was gone.

My point is you have to jump in and live your life, I mean really live it. DO the things that make you happy, that give you purpose. Make your mark on this world. And don't live your life being too afraid of doing the things that you know will bring you joy cause you never know when it'll be too late.

Anyway that's all.

Wait- no it's not!
If there are people in your life that are important to you make sure they know it! If you have children, if you have parents, tell them you LOVE them. I have 3 cousins who woke up today with a father that they could talk to and exchange I love you's with and when they go to bed tonight they won't have him. Seriously... don't take your time with them for granted...