I'm sad.
This morning Marcus left to go to Guam for 2weeks.
This shouldn't be a big deal. He leaves for work (and the military) all the time.
The truth is we've never really been in the same place together, with no interruption, for very long. The first year, 2002, was long distance. The second year dealt us an 8mo deployment to Iraq. The fourth year sent him to Georgia for training for 4mos while I stayed in Arizona. The fifth and sixth years were peppered with many small trips- 4wks here, 3wks there, 2weeks here, 5wks there. And this year, our seventh year, handed us our second Iraq deployment (4.5mos).
Point is, this measly 2wk trip to Guam shouldn't bother me. I should be fine! But I'm not. I miss him so much already and I want to do nothing more than lay on the bed and have a good cry.
But I won't.
Not because I'm tough but because I'm a mom and if I let on that I'm sad then my girls will be sad, and I can't have that. I think that's the only downside to being a parent. Once you have children your life is no longer about you and I don't mind that as much... but your emotions aren't about you either and that gets me sometimes. You have to put on a happy face no matter what is going on in your life or your heart. Don't get me wrong, in some cases I think that's a great thing. I know that if something horrible happened in my life and I wanted to fall apart, knowing that I have to be my best self for them would force me to hold it together... And that would be a good thing...
But right now I just want to be sad.
PS. I allowed myself the time to be selfish and feel a little sad while I wrote this blog... but that's over. So don't leave any comments that will bring me down :). I'm serious. I've done a really good job being positive since I've been here and can't afford to get caught up in those types of emotions.
Marcus if you're reading this I love you!! Be safe!!
6 comments:
No need to be down my darling! Dry your eyes and start making a list -- Guam has the world's largest K-Mart! Okay.. now normally it would take more than the world's largest K-mart to soothe the TDY seperation pain but after BX-PX-BX-PX shopping a K-Mart suddenly looks like Rodeo Drive!
PLUS TDY = frequent flyer points... Just a thought...
what a beautiful post. you are so strong and selfless. your family is lucky to have you as their glue and oil. glue to hold everyone together and oil to make sure everything runs smoothly.that's us women! love you nik!
beautiful pics, such a handsom couple:)
forgot the 'e' :) those gud ol txt short cuts.
@Stacy- Right you are!!
@Brit- Thanks lil mama, love you too! Who knew you were so sweet;).
@Morgan- Those were taken at Norton's weddding.
(Shout out to the Tin man!)
you are one of the most amazing and absoulutely beautiful (inside and out) women I have ever known and I am honored to be oyur friend!!!! I love and miss you guys so much...I love the pic of you and Marcus.
Post a Comment